This may seem like a depressing title and one might expect a similar aura to this particular blog posting. While the title is accurate, I assure you that this will not be depressing.
I just had a meaningful conversation with a very meaningful friend. I am the first person to join in on joking, laughing, random conversing, etc. but what I crave is a serious connection that allows my inner thoughts and ideas to be expressed and discussed.
My grades don't define who I am, how well I do on running the mile on Friday let alone my performance in track shouldn't interfere with how I live my life. Boys will be boys and I shouldn't be putting myself in vulnerable circumstances if I am not ready for a relationship. What has happened in my past is not something to dwell on or hinder my reasons for moving forward. Why? Because all of those sins, all of the things I am not proud of, everything that I have done to hurt someone or for those who have hurt me have been replaced by Jesus. Without Jesus we would literally be nothing and have no purpose. I want to be filled with Jesus because He is what really matters. He defines me.
I love deep conversations.
I love being filled with the truth.
I love not having to worry about what will happen.
I love Jesus.
I love sleep too . . . but college seems to suck any chance of that from happening.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
yikes
Fourth day of school and I can't believe how much I have to do already. Not to mention our toilet is broken, so that doesn't make life any easier.
I had a good weekend at home with the family. Seeing the U-District Mars Hill and the blessing of the building as well as all of the people there. My sister is amazing and never ceases to make me proud.
Boys are confusing and i'm tired of them liking me. I am convinced that I would be better off if I were male.
My information technology (IT) class is worthless and a huge waste of time. The step-by-step directions could be followed by a first grader, even though that's probably a good thing, I feel like the over simplicity does not belong in a college level class.
I have to run the mile on Friday for one of my classes. I'm probably going to keel over and die. I'm striving to workout everyday this week and eat a lot healthier than I have been. We'll see how affective that is . . .
I had a good weekend at home with the family. Seeing the U-District Mars Hill and the blessing of the building as well as all of the people there. My sister is amazing and never ceases to make me proud.
Boys are confusing and i'm tired of them liking me. I am convinced that I would be better off if I were male.
My information technology (IT) class is worthless and a huge waste of time. The step-by-step directions could be followed by a first grader, even though that's probably a good thing, I feel like the over simplicity does not belong in a college level class.
I have to run the mile on Friday for one of my classes. I'm probably going to keel over and die. I'm striving to workout everyday this week and eat a lot healthier than I have been. We'll see how affective that is . . .
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Berg in the 'Burg
Since moving into my apartment Sunday I have seen everyone and their mom here at Central. Of course there are those people that you try the hardest to avoid, yet they still somehow run into you wherever you go. Then there are those that you had one class with freshman year and so it would be awkward actually having a conversation with them. My favorite run-ins are when you see someone that is actually excited to see you and greets you with a huge hug and smile on their face.
First day of classes today. So far, so meek. My exercise science 351 teacher spent a solid 10 minutes explaining the difficulty of the class and exams, as well as emphasizing 20-30% will fail. Excellent. Hopefully my other classes will be a little more promising.
I'm also taking a frisbee class with my friend Andy that i'm excited for.
First track meeting on Monday . .. I wish I was in shape or motivated to workout. Once practices start i'm definitely going to get my butt kicked.
So far I have successfully avoided making myself a meal, at least not counting the bowl of cereal I just ate. It has been far too easy to go to a friends house for dinner or wait until my roommate makes food so I can join her. Eventually I will need to learn to actually cook for myself and who knows how that will turn out.
That's it for now!
Words to live by: "Most of all, don't live your life to please others, live your life to please God. "
First day of classes today. So far, so meek. My exercise science 351 teacher spent a solid 10 minutes explaining the difficulty of the class and exams, as well as emphasizing 20-30% will fail. Excellent. Hopefully my other classes will be a little more promising.
I'm also taking a frisbee class with my friend Andy that i'm excited for.
First track meeting on Monday . .. I wish I was in shape or motivated to workout. Once practices start i'm definitely going to get my butt kicked.
So far I have successfully avoided making myself a meal, at least not counting the bowl of cereal I just ate. It has been far too easy to go to a friends house for dinner or wait until my roommate makes food so I can join her. Eventually I will need to learn to actually cook for myself and who knows how that will turn out.
That's it for now!
Words to live by: "Most of all, don't live your life to please others, live your life to please God. "
Friday, September 17, 2010
Life
Nothing these days seems expected. Anything can happen at a moments notice whether you're prepared for it or not. That's why I always find myself saying "Ohhh life." Sure, a simpler way of living may involve knowing exactly what will happen, but honestly I believe we all thrive to secretly enjoy the unknown aspects of life. Humans don't like change but there would be a lot less to look forward to if everything was kept the same all the time.
These are just some of my thoughts as I get barely enough sleep to function.
Countdown to Central: 2 days
Oh and thanks for the rain Seattle, the end of summer hasn't been depressing enough.
These are just some of my thoughts as I get barely enough sleep to function.
Countdown to Central: 2 days
Oh and thanks for the rain Seattle, the end of summer hasn't been depressing enough.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Words of wisdom
And now for an entry from my writing journal back in 3rd grade.
Titled- My Sister Alexandra
*Note no spelling or grammar changes have been made.
My sister can be selfish sometimes, when she gets some thing new. because yesterday she just got a new lunchbox and she was being selfish about it. She is also moody when I go in her room she always yells at me and also when I do something wrong. Alexandra is annoying because she always hogs the bathroom, phone, and internet. She is also enthusiastic because she hangs out with her friends and acts so cool when shes around them and also when shes playing with me by running fast and not stopping. Alexandra is strong because she can pick me up and pick other strong stuff up. She's joyful sometimes when she got invited to a N-sync concert. Alexandra is a pain when she finds my kindergartan picture and she smiles like she going to laph. Alexandra has a lot of money because she saves up and shes being bratty about it. She can also be nosey because she always goes into my room and messes with my stuff. Alexandra is also noisy because she turns her radio on hi and doesnt shut the door and her room is across the hall from mine.
Titled- My Sister Alexandra
*Note no spelling or grammar changes have been made.
My sister can be selfish sometimes, when she gets some thing new. because yesterday she just got a new lunchbox and she was being selfish about it. She is also moody when I go in her room she always yells at me and also when I do something wrong. Alexandra is annoying because she always hogs the bathroom, phone, and internet. She is also enthusiastic because she hangs out with her friends and acts so cool when shes around them and also when shes playing with me by running fast and not stopping. Alexandra is strong because she can pick me up and pick other strong stuff up. She's joyful sometimes when she got invited to a N-sync concert. Alexandra is a pain when she finds my kindergartan picture and she smiles like she going to laph. Alexandra has a lot of money because she saves up and shes being bratty about it. She can also be nosey because she always goes into my room and messes with my stuff. Alexandra is also noisy because she turns her radio on hi and doesnt shut the door and her room is across the hall from mine.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Without love, what is worship?
Sundays always seem to bring me back to reality.
Church may just seem like singing and life lessons from the bible, but in reality there is some deeper connection that occurs. Communicating on a level with Jesus without any distractions, worries, sadness, etc. is truly unbelievable. Worship is a time to tune out anything that is going on or has happened and solely focus on Jesus. Gathering together with mismatched pitches and pouring out emotion fills the heart.
The message today was all about being enslaved. In this day and age we are found completely consumed with society and what others think. I know I am definitely guilty of this, I am always worried about getting shot down, not being good enough, not fitting some sort of standard that we somehow build in our minds that is acceptable. Truthfully, the destruction that follows is something we are so used to that we end up accepting disappointment. I have come close to expecting to be disappointed in everything I do. This negative outlook is definitely meek, but if we look to anything other than Jesus, that's exactly what we will find. Instead of enslaving ourselves to the opinions of others or to material objects, our main priority is to love others no matter what they think of us or what reason they have of thinking otherwise. I find myself being so selfish that I don't realize I can be the judgmental person inflicting the bruises and beatings. Believing in the sovereignty of God and accepting Christ as high importance compared to living with temporal comfort changes the outlook of living dramatically.
Love your enemies and learn how to forgive. Find liberty by being enslaved to the Savior.
Church may just seem like singing and life lessons from the bible, but in reality there is some deeper connection that occurs. Communicating on a level with Jesus without any distractions, worries, sadness, etc. is truly unbelievable. Worship is a time to tune out anything that is going on or has happened and solely focus on Jesus. Gathering together with mismatched pitches and pouring out emotion fills the heart.
The message today was all about being enslaved. In this day and age we are found completely consumed with society and what others think. I know I am definitely guilty of this, I am always worried about getting shot down, not being good enough, not fitting some sort of standard that we somehow build in our minds that is acceptable. Truthfully, the destruction that follows is something we are so used to that we end up accepting disappointment. I have come close to expecting to be disappointed in everything I do. This negative outlook is definitely meek, but if we look to anything other than Jesus, that's exactly what we will find. Instead of enslaving ourselves to the opinions of others or to material objects, our main priority is to love others no matter what they think of us or what reason they have of thinking otherwise. I find myself being so selfish that I don't realize I can be the judgmental person inflicting the bruises and beatings. Believing in the sovereignty of God and accepting Christ as high importance compared to living with temporal comfort changes the outlook of living dramatically.
Love your enemies and learn how to forgive. Find liberty by being enslaved to the Savior.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Here I am
Top ten list of what's currently happening in my life:
10) This is my last week in Burien and I literally have nothing planned.
9) My summer goal of losing weight and getting into super mega shape for track failed miserably.
8) Motivation-1 Siri- 0 (See #9)
7) I feel bad because my parents are getting on my nerves, but I know once I move into my apartment I will miss them dearly.
6) All of my friends are either already at college or too far away
5) I really need to vacuum my car
4) Watching the bachelor pad is the highlight of my week
3) I despise crab pots
2) Junior (my goldfish) makes me happy
1) The boy I have been crushing on is leaving for air force basic training and just wants to be friends. fml
10) This is my last week in Burien and I literally have nothing planned.
9) My summer goal of losing weight and getting into super mega shape for track failed miserably.
8) Motivation-1 Siri- 0 (See #9)
7) I feel bad because my parents are getting on my nerves, but I know once I move into my apartment I will miss them dearly.
6) All of my friends are either already at college or too far away
5) I really need to vacuum my car
4) Watching the bachelor pad is the highlight of my week
3) I despise crab pots
2) Junior (my goldfish) makes me happy
1) The boy I have been crushing on is leaving for air force basic training and just wants to be friends. fml
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